Facing a Goliath

Here's a little Texas trivia--Montgomery is the birthplace of the Texas flag. I learned that when I drove through there Monday morning...for a second time that day, on my way back from taking Jake to the Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston, when his 3:30AM shuttle failed to pick him up.

That's right--I got to make an unplanned and dreaded trip to Houston. About 4:45AM, I woke up my four other sleeping children, carried them to the car with blankets, water and snacks so I could drive, in the dark, to a huge city I've only seen once, briefly as a passenger, and to an airport I've never been to. Anyone who knows me knows I'm severely directionally challenged. I get it from my Grandpa Cooper :) I lose my car in the grocery store parking lot (the car topper has been saving me these past few weeks!) For years, I had to have written step-by-step instructions on how to get to the Portland airport (take this exit, stay in this lane, pass this exit then immediately get in the middle lane, etc.)  about 45 minutes away, and even then it still made me nervous.

This wasn't just an errand I needed to run or someone I needed to visit. This was a HUGE, NEW city! This was a NEW AIRPORT! This was a TIME-SENSITIVE trip. This was SCARY to me!

With every fiber of my being, I did NOT want to make this trip. But I had to. Jake had to make his flight back to Oregon. The ticket was purchased by Wes and Bev McCullough so that Jake could experience his first High Adventure with the young men. It was the sweetest, most thoughtful gesture. One that has certainly helped soften the blow of the move for Jake. But...I've been stressing about getting him to this airport for months. There had to be a way around it. Maybe I could find someone in the ward to drive with me and help me get there. But a) I didn't know people that well yet and b) once I realized it was an early flight, I didn't want to put anyone out at 5AM. It's about an hour and a half to two hour drive each way. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed with relief when we found a shuttle option to take him. Granted, with a 4:30AM shuttle, he'd have to be ready to go at 3:30AM for a home pick up, but whatevs. I'd get up that early for a month as long as I didn't have to drive him!

I think, deep, deep down, I knew the shuttle thing wouldn't pan out. Perhaps Heavenly Father was preparing me. The night before, I had asked Jared if I could text him in case something came up. And boy, did it ever! I had been texting Jared--at 1AM Portland time--to ask his opinion about how long I should wait for the shuttle before bailing and driving Jake to the College Station airport to get him on the shuttle there. Jared said that even if I did take him to the local shuttle pick up, the shuttle might not be there because it was on its way to pick him up at our duplex. Good point. He and I both called the number on Jake's confirmation email and of course there was no answer. So we waited until 4:30. That's when I asked Jared what route I should take to the airport. He had been to the Bush airport once from College Station when he was returning from his interview in March, so he gave me the names of the three main roads/highways to take. I had to do this. It could not be avoided.

It wasn't so much a matter of would Jake make it to the airport, but at what hour?? I prayed and prayed that he would get there on time so that he would not be rushed or stressed or worried as he would be navigating the airport and flying for the first time by himself. I prayed to Heavenly Father that I would not get lost or turned around and asked that we could just make it to the airport without any problems. I also added in humble acknowledgment that IF I must get lost, PLEASE let it be after I drop Jake off.

Jake was navigating in the front seat with the atlas. There were a few times when he said, "Mom, I think we were supposed to turn off at Navasota" or "We passed the sign for 45 back there" or "Mom, the airport is on JFK Blvd, that's the exit for JFK." I was surprised by the fleeting doubts that gave way to unexpected confidence when I responded, "No, we get near Navasota before we turn off the 6" or "If that was the road for highway 45 South, it was poorly marked. I only saw a sign for 45 North so we'll keep going the rest of the way through town and see what's up ahead" or "Dad told me there are no toll roads this way and that exit for JFK leads to a toll road."

I am thrilled to report that after filling up with gas, we left College Station at 5:20AM and arrived at Bush Intercontinental Airport at 7:00AM in the smoothest, most uneventful drive to an airport yet. I turned to Heavenly Father for help and hoped in that trust and together, we did it!

This experience worked out even more beautifully because while this was a dreaded and nerve-wracking experience that I had to face, I find it no coincidence that the lesson I'm teaching in Primary on Sunday is about David and Goliath and seeking Heavenly Father's help in overcoming obstacles.

For some people, having to drive to a big city and to a new destination would be a welcomed adventure--one they'd embrace and no big deal. Clearly that is far from the case with me. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father knows each of us individually. He knows our fears, He knows our desires, He knows what we need. I am His daughter and He knew that driving Jake to the Houston airport for the first time was no small thing. I needed His help to get through it because other people were depending on me. While I know Heavenly Father is constant and true, I am still amazed and grateful that I was indeed strengthened and more confident than ever.

Interestingly enough, I did get a little turned around leaving the airport. I was so focused on trying to locate 45 North, that I was totally thrown when I had to choose 8 Belt West or East. Under pressure, I went east. Immediately, I knew that was wrong. But, a thought came to my mind that somehow, I would run into 45 again and about 5 minutes later, I did. All was well! We made it back home with no issues or traffic by 9AM. Just about the time Jake was boarding his plane.

I haven't been able to conquer all of the driving Goliaths in my life. I've gotten lost plenty of times and missed many turns that, at least in Portland, were the point of no return...you could not just turn around or backtrack the way you came. You had to have a whole different route to get you back home or to where you needed to be. I've been humiliated and embarrassed by missing appointments and leading others astray who were following behind me.

But, when considering any of the Goliaths in my life--some that I've conquered, some that I haven't--I think the key here is to keep turning to Heavenly Father. It's just plain dumb to try and face trials on our own. Heavenly Father didn't put us on earth to figure it all out ourselves. He wants to help us, but we have to have faith and trust in Him. If we're going to be successful, it will only be with Heavenly Father's help. Even young David knew the importance of this. "David said moreover, The Lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine" (1 Samuel 17:37).  Unfortunately, there are some Goliaths that aren't meant to be defeated when we ask them to be, even when we do turn faithfully to Heavenly Father. When those scary or dreaded or overwhelming personal obstacles can't be overcome during the timetable of our desires, I know that Heavenly Father will help us cope and endure by giving us added strength and by placing certain people in our lives to walk with us. We are never alone.

Jared called the shuttle service twice on Monday asking for an explanation as to why no one picked up Jake, who had a paid, confirmed reservation that morning. We weren't ever told what happened exactly, but the company took full responsibility, they refunded our money that afternoon and gave us vouchers for future shuttle service. Apparently, Jake wasn't the only one who missed the 4:30AM shuttle. I'm just grateful I was able to take him instead. There are some people, such as college students, who rely fully on the shuttle and don't have the advantage of getting a ride some other way, like Jake could.

The fact that Jake didn't have a shuttle on Monday morning actually paved the way for me to recognize several blessings--all of which came from facing one of my Goliaths.