That's the Ticket

About a month ago, before school got out, I was wracking my brain trying to figure out how I could control the use of TV, computer, and video plug-in games without being controlling or feeling like I'm always saying no. It's easy to spend a couple hours (or more) without thinking about it in front of one of these devices, especially when your schedule is so laid back. (And because, sadly, we don't have a trampoline or a swing set or cool video games like a Wii or Playstation). I love watching TV, too. Everything in moderation, but how?

We've already been giving the kids "ratings" for a while. Cooper mainly. For anyone who has watched or taught Cooper, you know all about his ratings. So I decided to incorporate that into our home life this summer. We told the kids that during each day they would get ratings based on behavior and willingness to help out and how they are or aren't inviting the Spirit into our home. They start at 10 every morning when they wake up. If they do their duties (AKA chores/jobs) the first time or without being asked, they stay at a 10. If they start fighting or complaining about the breakfast menu, or throw a fit because I say no or cause contention for any other reason, etc. then they drop down a rating. If they persist. They continue to drop down. However, even if they get down to a 4 (which Cooper has!) they have until bedtime that night to turn it around. I must say, we've had some pretty amazing comebacks.

Once the boys are tucked in bed, the day is done and their final rating dictates how many tickets, if any, they get. If they are at an 8, they get one ticket. 9=two tickets. 10=three tickets. Each ticket represents 20 minutes of time they get to use to watch an approved TV show, or play on the computer, or use a plug-into-the-TV video game to be available for redeeming the next day or whenever they choose. They do not expire.

However, there have been a few days that one of our boys, who shall remain nameless, didn't earn any tickets at all. So the next day wasn't as fun for him because he couldn't be around the TV or computer. He managed to survive (imagine that) and as he lamented about not having any tickets, we gently reminded him that not having tickets was because of his choices, not ours. It's up to him how many tickets he gets.

So far, this little program is working very well for us. Turning in tickets only takes place once their duties are done and if we don't have places to go or other things to do first. Once the kids have tickets to redeem, they are the ones that make the choices about what they get to do and for how long. They even set the timer. Then when the tickets are gone, they find other things to do around the house or yard and I don't feel like I'm constantly putting a limit on their time spent on these things (although there is a 60 minute maximum on the computer). I'm no longer the bad guy. The responsibility falls entirely on them for earning the privileges and how long they have to enjoy them. It has set me free.

About a week or so after we started this program, I found that some days the boys stayed on 10 for quite a while and were doing things that would make their rating go up, if it could. After some thought, we invented Bonus Tickets. These can only be earned if the boys are already at a 10. Bonus tickets are a little harder to get because they're special. Even if a boy's rating goes down from the 10, he can't loose any earned bonus tickets. For example, they may end on a 7 with a bonus and get 1 ticket the next day. Or they could end on 10 with 2 bonus tickets which gives them 5 altogether.

When I give out the earned tickets, I flip them over and at the top, in small writing, record their name and the date that the ticket was earned and clip them to a magnet on the fridge. When the tickets are turned in by the boys, I make a dash on that same line and write what activity the child wants to do and the date and put it in a drawer to use again another 6 or 7 times. This helps me to know who owns the tickets and when they've been used.

This may only be effective for the summer, but that's fine with me. Seems like you just do what works, then when it stops working, you figure out something else. I can't tell you how many things we've tried over the years. Hopefully my creativity won't fail me.