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It boggles my mind that God, the Eternal Father gave His Son Jesus Christ to die for us. To bridge the literal and spiritual chasms between us and Them. It is also such an understatement to say that They love us so much, that though through Christ He created this world and many other worlds, and that the Light of Christ that governs all things and is in all things that He created, us included. He had the ability to walk on water, calm the seas, and command others to rise from the through this governing power. Yet, despite the power He displayed in His miracles, despite the utter anguish and pain He suffered for all of us collectively and individually for our entire lives, that light of Christ within each of us that the spirit uses to help us determine right from wrong, freedom or bondage, despite ALL that. He allows US, babes in spirit, insignificant mortals veiled from the truth of all things, to CHOOSE in a fallen state to follow Them or not. He allows us, bids us, pleads with us, to choose. And to choose right. But he gives us AGENCY, the one power above their own will and pleasure. Sure, we have the power to choose good or evil but we cannot choose the consequences that will come as result of our choices. But God and Christ will not force us to choose anything though they very well could. But He loves us to such a degree (incomprehensible to our minds) that He doesnt and wont. That is crazy to me. And we dictate in our lives how much light we let into our hearts everyday, and how long we want the spirit to reside with us as well.
So this week was another week of meds and experimenting, but the dosages I am at are working sufficiently well. I am sleeping again, and going about my days in 90% normality again. Its an amazing feeling. I pray that it continues enough to carry me to my mission. And as far as the mission goes, I discovered through the Stake President who spoke with the mission department that they have never seen a narcoleptic missionary since they worked there (and I heard they had been there for a good amount of time). So they dont know what to do about Narcolepsy. She said the more information about the disorder, about my drugs and about my recovery and everything, the easier it will be to make a clear decision. Including if the drugs I need are in Hungary. So we are working on securing doctors notes, prescription details and prescribers in Hungary to be able to give me what I need overseas. And I also learned that my time did NOT continue when I got home. So if I go back out, it will be fourteen months from when I go back out. Which if in october or november, would put me into January of 2021...AWESOME! But it would throw a small wrench into my plans but my plans for school have already been deformed and remolded into something else that I still dont know what haha! The Lord goes first, the mission goes first, and then after that I will worry about school and life. And I have no doubt it will fall into place for me!
In the meantime I am working in my old school district and actually visited my old chem teacher from sophomore year, on friday and it was a good visit. Good to see her again, but weird to be back in high school haha! I thought I was done with it but NOPE. Guess not.
I am excited for what the future seems to hold in store for me, and I pray that it comes about the way it needs to, hopefully Hungary. That would be the greatest gift I could ever receive, but the gift of serving is going to be the best gift ever no matter where I go. Because what does it matter if I am still representing God the Father and His son if it is in Idaho or Budapest?
Szeretlek Benneteket!
Jake
A trip down memory lane...
Szekesfehervar, Hungary--the City of Churches
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