The Curse of the Suit

This summer, I finally decided it was time to take Jared's two suits into the dry cleaners for a much needed scrubbing. It had been a while, like a year or two since they were last cleaned. It doesn't take long for the suits to get dirty with little ones who like to snack on things at church then snuggle up with him or who like to spit up. But we just can't afford cleaning them every month, which is why we try to sponge clean what we can in between these yearly professional cleanings.

I picked up the suits right before we went to Alaska the beginning of August. The Sunday after we got back, August 24th, Jared put on his olive green suit. (This is the same suit he bought for our wedding day...for the luncheon and departure to our honeymoon). We had been gone a couple of weeks, so we were looking forward to being back among our ward family and friends. It just so happened our stake presidency was visiting as well. (Since I've already had to speak in Stake Conference, I'm not afraid of them anymore.)

Like most Sundays, after the administration of the Sacrament, I went to the mother's lounge to feed Calvin. The other mothers and I had a short conversation about babies spitting up and I told them that Karcyn spent the first 7 months of her life, drenched with spit up. I had about 10 bibs and 5 burp rags and several changes of clothes in my diaper bag at any given time. People at church knew how to find me because they'd just follow the trail of spit up and they held her at their own risk. Ugh...it was disgusting.

About 10 minutes to the hour, Jake and Cooper rushed into the lounge. Jake was frantic and said, "Mom, Mom, you've got to come quick. Something's wrong with Karcyn!" In that split second, my mind rushed through horrible scenarios...a seizure? fainting? cracked her head open? What??

As I got ready to leave, draping Calvin over my arm, I asked, "What's wrong?" Jake said, "Karcyn threw up all over Dad." His news stopped me briefly in my tracks. I was relieved it wasn't anything more serious, but I was annoyed by the situation. I had always wondered what it was like for those few mothers I've known that have had children throw up in Sacrament meeting. I braced myself for what I'd find. We armed ourselves with wet paper towels, gobs of them, and tried to quietly go back into the chapel (from the opposite side of course) as the last talk was wrapping up.

Karcyn was sitting on Jared's lap, curled into him, her back to me. Most the vomit was all over Jared. I don't even know where the boys went. I just remember I couldn't do anything to help with Calvin in my arms so I turned around and dumped him on the Bishop's wife. I asked Jared if he could stand. We got them up and into the kitchen to get the big chunks off of them both. To my dismay, his suit was trashed. Tie and everything. NAS--TEE! That's what I was most upset about...I had just CLEANED his suit!!

We only brought one car, but I told him to just take her home and the boys and I would walk.

By this time Sacrament meeting was over. I couldn't find the boys. A friend across the aisle noticed what happened and threw a spare diaper of hers over the vomit on the floor. She informed me the boys already left for Primary, but it wasn't before showing their friends what Karcyn had done.

I found our building rep and asked where the disinfectant was. He showed me and I got to work. Another friend was sitting in front of our row when I came back and I asked him if he could smell anything. He said no and I explained what happened. He was kind enough to fetch a garbage can for me so I could dispose of the soiled paper towels. All in all, it really wasn't that bad...having a kid throw up in Sacrament meeting. Fortunately it was near the end and not in the middle of the Priesthood passing the Sacrament. And...at least it wasn't in nursery. I would have felt much worse. It wasn't the humiliating experience I was expecting it to be. Thank goodness for that.

I wore a blouse to church that day, one where if I have leaked a little bit of breast milk, it would have showed very clearly. So I tucked in a pair of reusable nursing pads that I haven't used since Jake was born, all proud of myself for thinking ahead and being prepared. My milk production is pretty low. BUT...with me leading music in Relief Society, I wanted to head off any such embarrassment. What I really needed was arm pit pads. I was so hot and flushed from the experience and chore of cleaning people and pews up that I was pouring sweat and there were large wet spots under my arms. *sigh* Oh well, everyone tells me no one watches me when I lead the music anyway.

That next day, I took Jared's suit BACK to the cleaners. I forgot about it and finally picked it up this past Wednesday--over a month after dropping it off.

Jared wore the suit and same tie to church yesterday for the first time since Karcyn barfed all over it. I went to feed Calvin again after Sacrament meeting. I believe it was near the end of the meeting again, when we heard the knock of an adult on the mother's lounge door. The door cracked open and I saw Karcyn standing there. "Oh, does she need a change?" Jared stood there all miffed and held out his left pant leg, revealing a large dark spot and exclaimed, "She PEED on me!!"

That's IT! The suit is cursed! It can never be dry cleaned again. I'm afraid of what will happen when he wears it once we get it back. Nope. It'll just have to stay soiled. Sorry, Jared.